... and I keep dancing

Welcome to my Argentine Tango blog! I began this blog about a year after starting to dance Argentine Tango. That year had been both wonderful and frustrating. I started recording my progress and feelings from that point on... and both wonder and frustration have continued, only even more intensely.


Thursday, May 21, 2009

Tango in Berlin (and the embarrassing end..)

I just spent three nights dancing tango in Berlin. I was there for work, but was able to add the three nights to my stay, and of course I took advantage of them to check out the tango scene. I found the tango venues on the internet but had no real good idea of what I would find.

My first excursion was to NOU. The place was very small with a cafe' style area with tables and a bar, and a dance floor about the size of a large living room. There were only two or three couples dancing at any time. I was lucky in that I sat near one of the only two advanced dancers (as I soon realized), and, after striking up a conversation, we danced to a few good songs. They played no tandas and no cortinas. The approach to ending the dance seems to be that at some point one asks "one more dance?", which is a signal that the "thank you" will come after that. This seemed to be the approach in all the other milongas as well.

I clicked well with another dancer as well, who invited me to go with her to another late milonga. I gladly accepted, and I had the added thrill of experiencing her tiny Smart car buzzing adroitly through Berlin "la nuit". The next milonga was much larger, in a beautiful hall, and still going strong. Unfortunately I never caught the name of it, but I understand that it was new, and apparently many of "the teachers" were in attendance. My kind companion taught as well, and I enjoyed dancing with her. Unfortunately we didn't exchange email addresses, as I thought I would see her in one of the next milongas, but that didn't happen (so, Illiana, if you happen to read this ... Danke!).

Friday night I went to "Yeite", a loft space several stories up in an industrial building.
It felt odd to ask people to dance pretty much at random, but overall the level of dancing was good. Again, no tandas and no cortinas. Just the "one more?" system. They had a raffle at some point and, to my total surprise, I won a CD. The master of cerimonies had already met me at the NOU milonga, where he acted as cashier and bar tender, but he made no big deal of the fact that I was from San Francisco. I found that in general the milonga organizers were not particularly attentive to who you were, your name, where you were from, etc. That felt unfriendly compared to the milonga climate in San Francisco. This was confirmed especially on my last day, at the "Tango Loft" milonga.

So, here I am at the Tango Loft, Saturday night. My last night. Had a hard time locating it in a large industrial building. Fortunately I saw some people who seemed like tangueros emerge from a door, and I found that the milonga was happening, again at the top floor of the building.

It's already midnight as I walk in, but the milonga is scheduled until 4am and I am planning to stay until about three and go straight to the airport from there. I walk in, pay, and immediately I see a woman in a red dress pouring some champagne in glasses and distributing some slices of cake to people nearby. I am reminded of a typical birthday celebration at one of our San Francisco milongas, where all attendees would typically be invited to partake. Without giving it much thought I pour myself some bubbly and expect to start some friendly conversation. What I get is a stern look from the woman in the red dress and a question, in an unfriendly tone: "and who are you?". A bit surprised by her demeanor and the stares of other bystanders, I manage to say " ... I am a tourist... from San Francisco", expecting some kind of friendly welcome. Instead I notice that their faces remain quite serious, and I suddenly realize my "faux pas". "Is this private?" I ask. "Yes, it's private" she answers. I feel like I have just been caught shop-lifting, and my profuse apologies, followed by my attempted explanation (in broken German - of our San Francisco "Milonga Culture") don't seem to elicit any forgiving or friendlier attitude.

Still embarrassed, I excuse myself, note that there is a bar, go there to order a glass of champagne, return to the scene of the crime, and hand the glass to the Lady in Red, with my calling card, and one final apology.

After that I finally start dancing. I recognize the very first woman I danced with at my first night's milonga. It's good to dance with her and I try to forget my embarrassing moment. But rather than embarrassed I am now starting to feel upset for not having been given the benefit of the doubt. I think of how we would welcome a visitor from Germany at one of our milongas. I go back to the Lady in Red and ask her to dance. Maybe she'll give me a chance to explain again or at least to be accepted as a visiting dancer. She says "later..".

The good part is that nobody else turned me down that night, and at 3am I found my way to the airport after many wonderful dances I will gladly remember. I wish I had had more time both to see Berlin and to become better acquainted with the Tango scene. And next time I'll bring my own bottle of champagne.

4 comments:

Ana de San Francisco said...

Thanks for sharing your experiences from Berlin. I wrote a college paper about tango in Berlin. Maybe you´d like to see it and tell me how far off the mark I was. Raising a glass of champagne to you from BsAs...

Henry Finkelstein said...

Hey,

Good to know that the culture in Berlin can be a bit cold to tango travelers. I'll have to be careful when I head out there ...

Thanks for sharing your experience and insights!
-h

Unknown said...

Dear Silvano

here I am sitting at my "loft space several stories up" El Yeite, hosting a Seminario by Martin Maldonado and Maurizio Ghella, on a friendly Sunday afternoon in Berlin. A Tango friend (participating in the Seminario today) was friendly enough to point my attention to your Blog, assuming I would be interested, as you are talking about two of my Milongas: Nou & El Yeite.

She herself was somewhat surprised to read your summary, as she met you during your visit and said that she had some nice and connected moments with you. I also remember you, and ask myself why you didn't approach me more directly? In general I am known to be very aware and focused to create a friendly atmosphere for all my guests. Especially at Nou, as it is small and homy, I do my best to welcome everyone with a hand shake and a real moment of encounter. I am sorry if you experienced this otherwise.

One thought to consider may be that we have international visitors all the time. Berlin is the second largest Tango community in the world and attracts many dancers. At my Milonga (especially El Yeite as it is bigger) I meet people from all over the world all the time, and I meet new people from Berlin all the time too, dancers I haven't met before. It's simply impossible to pay special attention to every new person that visits. Thus, someone from San Francisco is not treated differently than someone from Tokyo, Africa, or Berlin.

Again, I am sorry that your visit wasn't all cheers.

Cortinas & Tandas: We tried to introduce Cortinas to our Milongas here in Berlin, but it wasn't received very well by the community. I play Tandas since I DJ (5 years). The DJ that night at EL Yeite (Hagen) as well. That is given that the understanding of a Tanda is a block of 4 songs by (generally) one Orchestra, with Vals / Milonga (3 songs) being played ater every 2 Tango Tandas.

I wish you all the best & send my friendly Greetings to the San Francisco Tango dancers, many of whom I know from my 1-year-stay in 2002-03.

Hugs
Thomas :)

Silvano Colombano said...

Dear Thomas:

I think my post was misinterpreted a bit. Fist of all I had a great time at both your milongas and I found wonderful dancers I connected very well with. I would gladly spend a long time in Berlin and dance!

I understand about Berlin being a very international Tango community, where coming from abroad is not a particular reason for attention.

Even in San Francisco, new guests are not always acknowledged, depending on the particular milonga, size of the crowd etc. I was simply "reporting" the climate, as well as the "no tanda" style as a fact to be known about Berlin, with no judgment implied. In fact I liked the "no tanda" idea.

The one event I focused on, however, was extremely embarrassing to me, as well as puzzling, but it had nothing to do with your milongas and your hosting style.

As I explained, in many SF milongas some food and drinks are included, especially if some birthday is celebrated. So, unfortunately, as I walked in and saw some cake being served, I helped myself, only to realize immediately, from the looks I got, and the "and the who are you?" question, that I had "crashed" a private party. At that point, the situation could have been amusing and an occasion for welcoming a new person (who did not know what was going on). The cake "owner" could have said "Yes, this is private, but, hey, have a piece of cake.. welcome to Berlin!" - This would seem to me like normal hospitality - Instead I was looked at coldly by all involved, and treated like I had been a thief.

Nobody extended their hand to introduce themselves. They just glared at me. THAT was really embarrassing. I went to the bar immediately to buy a glass of champagne (to make up for the one I had poured for myself) and offered it to the hostess. She accepted it, but, again, there was no hint of welcome or friendliness (even now that I had understood my faux pas and had tried to remedy it).

So, Thomas, this was really mainly a story about cultural misunderstanding, and it had to do mainly with the "woman with the red dress" ... whom I would very much like to have an opportunity to speak with again. I thought it would also be useful for San Franciscans to hear, just so we can compare how we handle our own milongas.

Let me repeat again, that aside from that extremely embarrassing moment, I had great fun at your milongas, met many friendly people (including you!), the quality of dancing was very high, I was accepted by most dancers I invited, and had some really wonderful moments on the dance floor.

I would return in a second, and I really hope I will have the opportunity to welcome you, and other friends I made, to San Francisco in the near future.
This includes of course "the woman with the red dress" who would have a cake and a bottle of champagne" served by me to her at her first San Francisco milonga.