From bliss to anger ... and back

Or... why do we do this to ourselves?

For quite some time I have been trying to cope with a feeling I am not proud of, but, if there is one thing life has taught me, is how utterly "ordinary" I am... which means that there is a good chance that these same feelings are out there in lots of tangueros/as.

I am talking about plain old anger. I find that when I go to new milongas where I am unknown to all or most, I get a lot positive attention. Women ask me to dance (and I am not a young hunk..), I see people following me and my partner with their eyes, I get very good feedback from advanced dancers and I have even been asked if I teach. I infer from this that, even though, like most, I could easily move to BA for many more years of useful lessons... I cannot be all that bad at this point.

Yet, in my own dance community, there are still dancers who act as if I had stepped on the dance floor just yesterday. Maybe two years ago I made her trip on a bad sacada, or she didn't feel a good connection, so, in her mind I am still stuck at that level. No more chances ...no sirree.
OK, I understand. Tango is a meritocracy. We all work so hard at achieving that "state of bliss" that it's hard to give up the chance of being asked by the "very best" just for a "friendly" dance.
The prevailing attitude seems to be "why bother if it's not going to be great". Add to that the "fear" of being seen dancing with a mediocre partner... and perhaps give the idea that you have "lowered your standards"...

We are all trapped on both sides of this attitude. At times we feel "victims" of it when we are turned down, and feel angry, only to turn around to do it to others.

I don't presume to suggest a "solution" for all, and certainly not for those who are well beyond any such issues, but here is what I am going to do:
1. I'll get over it. I will still try to say "hi" to the dancers who try so hard to ignore me.
2. I will dance at least with a couple friends at each milonga even thought I haven't enjoyed dancing with them for a while. It won't kill me and it won't ruin my "reputation", and, just possibly, they'll surprise me!
3. I will seek out one new face. One who is sitting in the back of the room looking longingly at the dancers.

Maybe one way to be less angry is to realize that we all need to be less scared.

Or maybe it's just me...