Out of the comfort zone

I have decided to start violating my self-imposed "don't ask the teachers" rule. I need to feel that my dance has something to offer even the most advanced dancers. I asked "R" Thursday night. I could immediately tell that she accepted without great conviction. I tried to put her teacher "status" out of my mind and proceeded to give it my best. Unfortunately the floor was very crowded and I ended up bumping against one of the veteran Argentine dancers of our community (and her friend). Of course I apologised as one normally does in these circumstances, but she seemed to feel compelled to also add to the apology. That made me feel uncomfortable. She "thanked me" after one dance.
I am still glad I asked her and will continue to ask other teachers. I had vowed to do this at least once every night... but I haven't done it for two nights. I need to get back on the horse.

Owning the dance

I feel like I am at a confused point in my dance. The number of women I really enjoy dancing with has diminished quite a bit. I still dance with some who are mainly friends, but our dance connection is not there anymore. At the same time, "at the opposite end" I still hesitate asking really advanced dancers, especially "the teachers". It's been engrained in me that the teachers are at milongas to dance at their level with their own friends ... certainly not with their beginning students. But I am not a beginner anymore... to the extent that one can stop feeling like a beginner in tango.

I was at a workshop with Luiza Paez last Sunday. She spoke about the quality of the dance and the importance of "owning it". I feel I need to start doing that. I need to accept that some women will not dance with me because they don't like my dance... not because I cannot dance. I need to feel that my dance has something to offer even to "the teachers". My biggest fear is not being rejected, rather being accepted "for dance charity". I have a very long way to go, but I need to start accepting that I can make a good travel companion. I need to own my dance.