The birthday dance

For about a year and a half I have been seeing "birthday dances" where leaders or followers, as the case may be, take turns dancing with the the birthday person.
Am I ready to take to the floor? Step up to the lead for the birthday girl? Be observed (judged?) by EVERYONE in the hall, as if in a performance?

So this time the birtday girl is a friend who "used" to dance with me, but for a while now has been dancing only with the "best" leaders (see my previous blog on "the vanishing intermediate dancer"). I stopped asking her a while back after sensing some reluctance. So now is my chance to show her how much I have improved! I take a deep breath and I step to the middle of the floor, asserting my right to the "30 seconds of fame". She smiles and seems surprised but accepting. We start to dance and I realize that I can't focus. I feel the eyes of everyone on me. We move and then I hear the dreaded word.. "oops"! I suddenly realize I am not sure where her weight is... Did everyone see the misstep? The next leader appears behind her. I gladly swivel my friend toward him and quickly walk back into the crowd of onlookers... looking for a deep hole to crawl into. They are still looking at the dancers. I feel no accusatory eyes pointed at me. Maybe nobody noticed. Later I think of apologizing to her... but I don't. I also realize that I will not ask her to dance again for a least a few more months.

As I am leaving for the evening a male friend tells me that he has seen a big imnprovement in my dance. This surprises me so much that I don't probe further (was he referring to my birthday dance?) ... so I just smile, thank him, and hope again that nobody noticed the misstep...